"1) Roll two dice to determine your"dandruff and your earwax ratings.
Then turn to section (18)%2) You manage to defeat the frog in a
long battle. Go to (39) to
determine your rest move.$3) Your pants start to itch. You can
go east (18) or north (34) 4) You find yourself on a bouncy#castle. If your dandruff rating is "odd, goto (24), if not, then hum a#well known nursery rhyme, and then turn to (21) (unless you support
Derby then goto (27))#5) If you want you can call the god""Purbar", if so goto (16). If not,#you climb in the tumble dryer (goto
26)%6) You are in the lift. Goto a choice
of either (1), (9), (4), (14),
(31) or (37)#7) You smear the frog with Vaseline
and go onwards. Goto (39)!8) The pudding isn't cooked after#half an hour so you call the RSPCA $and say "I think you're doing such a
good job."#9) You are in a room full of sheep."JAZ X comes over and says "Hello!"$He gives you a pot of Vaseline. Goto
section (3)#10) If you have three pieces of the key of Zimmo, then multiply the %numbers on them together, and turn to the number you get. If you don't#have all three bits of the key then goto (37)
11) You are attacked by a big
cauliflower, turn to (6)#12) You manage to escape by running"through a magic door that has just
appeared. Goto (39)
13) The frog attacks. If your&Dandruff rating is 3,4 or 5 then goto
(2). If not, then goto (23)#14) Swoon, gosh. You go weak at the!knees and faint. When you wake , "you are in a different place. Goto
(11)!15) Claudia Schieffer removes her skirt and waistcoat showing her #lovely body. If you have the eye of
Oktuppi, then goto (56) 16) The god "Purbur" appears. He$tells you to burn all your CD's and #buy tapes and LP's instead. Turn to
(25)#17) I never wanted the stars, never
shot for the moon. I like them "right where they are, all I wanted
was you (goto 28)#18) You are in a dark room, you can"go west or east. West - (9). East
- (31).#19) The god says goodbye. There are"two doors. You can go through one %with a "V" on, or one with an "L" on.
If you choose "V" goto (6), if you go for the the "L" goto (26)"20) He rubs you with sunflower oil!and talks about his ears. Nobody "comes to your 17th birthday party.#21) The other children don't notice"your nudity. You notice a part of "the key of Zimmo in your naval. It
has "2" on it. Goto (16)%22) The god kicks you in the face. He
breaks your cheekbone, and you have to go to hospital. THE END!$23) The frog sits on you and you die
listening to crap rave tunes
THE END!!24) You bounce too hard, and fall"into a trapdoor. Goto (5) (unless !you think Aerosmith are a netball
team, if so goto (37))"25) The god offers you a choice of#keep the faith - Bon jovi (goto 22)$or Vanessa Paradis - Vanessa Paradis (goto 35) or a kick in the face (goto 22)#26) The sun rises. Goto 10 to claim
your prize.$27) The editors mum mistakes you for some of her sons dirty washing. !She throws you out of the window.
(YOU DIE!)#28) So baby just turn away, cause I
can't face the truth. All I'm "trying to say, is all I wanted was
you.$29) Vanessa is incredably good and I!want to join her fanclub. I wish %that I could go back to infant school
'cause it was dead good. 30) P.V.F.C. comes into the room%naked! If you are a female goto (14),"if you are a male goto (4) (If you
are a goldfish, then goto (10))!31) You go down a long corridoor.$Suddenly, a giant frog leaps out. If%you posess a tub of Vaseline goto (7)
if not, goto (13)$32) The god says "Bollocks" and puts!you out of your misery by kicking
you in the face. (Goto 22)%33) This blimming adventure took ages to write. It's really nothing to
do with Hibermian versus Dundee
united.$34) Alas, you have wandered into the editors bedroom. If your earwax $rating is below 5 then goto (12). If
not, goto (27)#35) The tape has a piece of the key
with "5" on. Goto (19)#36) Golf is a really boring game in
my opinion.#37) Your mother finds your pants or knickers are mucky and she eats
you. THE END!38) The best song in the world is#"November Rain" the second best is $"bed of roses" the highest placed VP
song is at 379th (With "Be My Baby) (Stop putting these stupid%little comments in this adventure you
stupid person -P.V.F.C.)!39) You find a part of the key of$Zimmo. It has the number 4 inscribed%on it. You can go east (goto (30)) or
south (11)%40) You have won! A hoard of gorgeous
models (conveniently the #opposite gender to you) come in and!agree to be your slaves. We will !leave you to enjoy yourself. WELL
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